**Weird Milestone Alert**

Yesterday marked 100 days of "homelessness" for me.

For those of you who don't know, I'm not homeless in a "living under a bridge" kind of way, but still homeless in a very real sense. 100 days ago, there was a fire in the place I'd called "home" for nearly 5 years and I've been displaced ever since. 

A few BEFORE photos:

I'd just finished about a year of painting and redecorating before the fire...getting the place exactly how I wanted it.


Yeah, so...

I lived in a hotel for the first two months, which was equal parts weird and difficult with a smattering of awesome, like someone making your bed every day. #winning. 

This month, I've been in a corporate apartment, which is mostly a downgrade from where I was with three exception: a King Size bed, a soaker tub, and a washer/dryer just for me.

On the surface, one might be tempted to think this whole thing has been like an extended, paid vacation.

It hasn't.

There have been many blessings in the midst of this, of course, and things I've enjoyed, but, it's also altered the way I do life (at least for the time being) and had some unexpected side-effects that have been kind of difficult. So, to commemorate this not-so-auspicious occasion and have a little something to look back on later and feel thankful for "all the way the Lord has led me"...I give you a few fun facts about being homeless, kinda.

1. You eat a lot more pasta, probably more than is reasonable. When your life is in a tizzy, but you still want to be “responsible” and cook instead of doing drive-thru every night, there's not much easier than boiling water and waiting 10 minutes for dinner to be ready. Plus, it's super cheap. So, my homeless go-to dinner was buttered noodles or Kraft Mac & Cheese. Is the "homeless 15" a thing? If not, it is now. Officially.

2. It takes you three times longer to do pretty much everything. Because you're basically living out of a suitcase, in unfamiliar surroundings, and all of your routines are just a jumble of you trying to put pieces of your old routine together into a new routine. But, you have to think before you reach for/do anything...every time. Where is my purse today? Where are my clean underwear? Do I put sunscreen on before or after moisturizer? (As you're putting on lipstick) Did I brush my teeth? (Gathers items needed for a task and begins only to remember one crucial item is in another room) Dangit! Why am I such an idiot these days?

3. You forget, misplace, drop, fall behind in, and generally mess things up...a lot...consequently, feeling like an idiot and a mess most of the time.

4. You're also often late for things, even though you'd normally be 15 minutes early.

5. You're tired more often. Problems sleeping out, uncomfortable beds, foreign noises and upstairs neighbors who are either sleep walkers or have very tiny bladders all conspire against your sleep. If you manage to make it through your homelessness without hallucinating or having a total nervous breakdown from sleep deprivation, consider yourself very fortunate...and totally primed to have a newborn or a puppy in your new home, once you find one.

6. You really, really miss that old mattress you wanted to replace right before it was carted off to storage with 98% of your other worldly possessions. 

7. You really, really miss your vanity/morning getting ready routine.

8. Moving your few remaining possessions around from place to place is not fun and you often contemplate tossing most of it out just to avoid having to pack and haul it all again.

9. You realize you don't need as much stuff as you thought you did...except when it comes to makeup and skincare, then you always need more.

10. You learn that you are far more adaptable than you realized.

11. You come to believe completely and passionately, that Insurance Companies are, in fact, the Devil, and Insurance Adjusters probably have to sell their souls just like Keanu Reeves in that lawyer movie with Al Pacino. (#slightexaggerationforeffect)

12. For so many reasons, you find that everything cost more.

13. You frequently calculate the replacement cost of all of the things that couldn’t be stored or salvaged.

14. You wish your job required a uniform because then people wouldn’t bat an eye at you wearing the same outfit over and over and over again. #has5outfitsrightnow

15. If you’re from the New Orleans area, you feel that same sense of unease and loss and (#pressesbackofhandtoforeheadandtiltsheadback) “whatever will become of me?!?!” that you had in the weeks following Hurricane Katrina. 

16. You sigh a lot more.

17. You have your first-ever panic attack. It isn’t fun.

18. You learn that you could REALLY get used to having maid service.

19. You may or may not become addicted to Trolli Eggs. 

20. You take up making videos on YouTube. For real! #science!

21. No matter how much you try to get a routine going and be normal, you just never, ever feel settled. 

22. You pretty much always wind up crying at some point when talking to pushy vendors or insurance company reps.

23. You realize that having a dishwasher is a necessity, not a preference. 

24. You realize that most people will forget you're homeless or think you're having some sort of fun extended vacation...and find that that's kind of a bummer.

25. You realize you can still be hospitable and serve others, no matter what your “home” is/looks like.

26. You become a bit more thankful for the little things...when you're not being a whiney hiney, of course. 

27. Some of the things that were big issues in your life prior to your homelessness, suddenly aren’t. 

28. Pedicures just never happen.

29. You think about eating clean or starting to exercise again, but those thoughts quickly get pushed aside by weightier concerns like "where am I going to live?" and "how do I get the insurance company to stop stressing me out?" and "Why does the person who lives upstairs have to walk around so much...at 3am?!?!"

30. You’re even more thankful for your faith, without which, you’d certainly have become the hottest of hot messes throughout this whole ordeal.

Life, as I knew it, is weirder and harder and I don't know when it will settle down again, but, I do know this:

“He knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.” Job 23:10